Lil' bubba came a-visiting 3 months ago. Boundless joy and unlimited laughs then started teaming up with sleep deprivation and endless nappy changes (for the lady, that is!). *Takes a bow*
While the feller was in his mom's tummy sprouting legs and hands (and undoubtedly, a tail), one stream of constant advice I received from well wishers, nosy do gooders and friends alike was to baby proof the house before he popped out and said howdy-doo. Being the confident uncle of 4 that I was, I would instantly dismiss the suggestion.
My dismissal was not based on carelessness, arrogance or laziness. It was based on experience and confidence. You see, I'd seen 2 nieces and 2 nephews grow up and was in close range when 1 of each grew up. I was quite sure that babies didn't start getting mobile until around month 6 (if they are really keen and sharpish in achieving their mobility). If my son was blessed with my genes (even 5% of mine would suffice), he wouldn't start moving for at least 8 months to a year.
Logic then dictated that I do not have to move a finger until month 5 after birth. Why waste effort in moving stuff and hiding wires right now, when, between the time the mess was cleared and the time the stuff becomes useful, they would only get messed up again or be a hassle. As perceptive as I am, I can feel all dads and males reading this nodding in agreement at flawless logic and all females shaking their heads at the male of the species.
You see, in addition to reasons outlined above, there is another reason. Please be aware that this reason is ancillary to reasons outlined above. A by-product of the logic, if you will. You see, the wires around the entertainment centre in my house don't look far off from this:
Ideas elude the old noodle. When the TV is connected to the set top box, things are straight forward, but my TV is connected to the set top box through the xbox, which is connected to the Kinect and DVD player, which is connected to the home theatre system, which connected to the laptop to TV lead and laptop speaker adapter.
For all the innovations mankind has come up with, it has not come up with a product that can act like a banyan tree and power all other gadgets connected to it. So each has a wire running to the product it is connected to and each then runs to the wall socket. Did I mention that the xbox also has an additional wire running across the room to the internet router. I might add that the internet router is all the way across the room because it was placed there by the landlord, helpfully.
The lady hasn't helped the matter either. In a mistaken, lovey dovey gesture at the start of our wedded life, I thought I would be romantic to take her to Ikea to impress her. Big mistake. We came home with a couple of lamps that now needed to be plugged somewhere.
I also believe I've mentioned before how I've got wires snaking their way to and from my laptop as well.
For a wireless world, that's a hellavalot of wires!
I may not have done a very good job of describing the situation re: wires very well, but the image should help matters.
While on the topic of wires, I would like to take a minute and digress. Baby proofing an apartment, as I view it, consists of doing all it takes to keep little hands from sticking little fingers into little holes called plug points, ensuring naughty little hands stay out of stuff that they have no business getting into in the first place and ensuring little faces do not do a face-plant and even if they do, there isn't anything that would cause said face-plant to result in damage to said face or floor. Feel free to enlighten me about things I have not considered in the comments.
One of the things I have mentioned while considering baby proofing is keeping fingers out of plug points. This is where I take exception to the British health and safety system. Health and safety has dictated that all plugs in Britain conform to a three pin (hence earthed), square (square plug point holes do not bode well for round fingers trying to invade the hole), be moulded (broken plugs are not a hazard anymore) and resist coming out of the socket should the wire be tugged or tripped on. Now, wires that resist plopping out of the socket when tripped on mean they will trip and make trippee fall.
Also, in a case of astonishing oversight, all plug points in this place seem to be no more than 10cm from the floor. Anyone familiar with toddler or kids will know, they tend to be taller than 10cm. My question is, why would anyone place a hazard within reaching distance of a kid and then go about designing the most fool proof and complex mechanism to ensure kids don't get into them? If plug points were placed, say around the 5 foot level like it is back in India, doesn't this automatically solve the problem?
Thank you for allowing the digression, this needed to be said. Just had to get it off my chest.
Back to the story. With all these wires that needed de-wiring, I have no clue where to start. It's almost like the wires have a life of their own and resist any attempt at re-organisation. They've also developed such a deep bond among themselves that it feels almost criminal separating themselves. It's almost as cruel as separating lovers who are in passionate embrace. Only, this is more of an orgy than lovers.
I've been planning this for a while and now that bubba's been here for 3 months, I only have 2 months left to accomplish the task. There is, however, a problem here. You see, I now know why folks asked me to do this before he came. I have no time whatsoever. My life now is an endless rush between office, home, diaper, supermarket, diaper, playing, office and home.
All the 'planning' I've done has had one benefit though - I have thought of all angles. One of which is questioning why this needs to be done at all. Hear me out. The issue with shielding kids from all dangers a parent can think of, is that the child doesn't have the opportunity to learn. When we grew up, there was no health and safety. One learnt that sticking fingers into plug points resulted in an unpleasant sensation, so one didn't do it. The same way, one learnt that some places are not meant to be broken into. How are kids of these days going to learn if we keep removing hazards? Do they not deserve a well rounded, practical approach to parenting? Which is why, I've decided the wires stay.
While the feller was in his mom's tummy sprouting legs and hands (and undoubtedly, a tail), one stream of constant advice I received from well wishers, nosy do gooders and friends alike was to baby proof the house before he popped out and said howdy-doo. Being the confident uncle of 4 that I was, I would instantly dismiss the suggestion.
My dismissal was not based on carelessness, arrogance or laziness. It was based on experience and confidence. You see, I'd seen 2 nieces and 2 nephews grow up and was in close range when 1 of each grew up. I was quite sure that babies didn't start getting mobile until around month 6 (if they are really keen and sharpish in achieving their mobility). If my son was blessed with my genes (even 5% of mine would suffice), he wouldn't start moving for at least 8 months to a year.
Logic then dictated that I do not have to move a finger until month 5 after birth. Why waste effort in moving stuff and hiding wires right now, when, between the time the mess was cleared and the time the stuff becomes useful, they would only get messed up again or be a hassle. As perceptive as I am, I can feel all dads and males reading this nodding in agreement at flawless logic and all females shaking their heads at the male of the species.
You see, in addition to reasons outlined above, there is another reason. Please be aware that this reason is ancillary to reasons outlined above. A by-product of the logic, if you will. You see, the wires around the entertainment centre in my house don't look far off from this:
For all the innovations mankind has come up with, it has not come up with a product that can act like a banyan tree and power all other gadgets connected to it. So each has a wire running to the product it is connected to and each then runs to the wall socket. Did I mention that the xbox also has an additional wire running across the room to the internet router. I might add that the internet router is all the way across the room because it was placed there by the landlord, helpfully.
The lady hasn't helped the matter either. In a mistaken, lovey dovey gesture at the start of our wedded life, I thought I would be romantic to take her to Ikea to impress her. Big mistake. We came home with a couple of lamps that now needed to be plugged somewhere.
I also believe I've mentioned before how I've got wires snaking their way to and from my laptop as well.
For a wireless world, that's a hellavalot of wires!
I may not have done a very good job of describing the situation re: wires very well, but the image should help matters.
While on the topic of wires, I would like to take a minute and digress. Baby proofing an apartment, as I view it, consists of doing all it takes to keep little hands from sticking little fingers into little holes called plug points, ensuring naughty little hands stay out of stuff that they have no business getting into in the first place and ensuring little faces do not do a face-plant and even if they do, there isn't anything that would cause said face-plant to result in damage to said face or floor. Feel free to enlighten me about things I have not considered in the comments.
One of the things I have mentioned while considering baby proofing is keeping fingers out of plug points. This is where I take exception to the British health and safety system. Health and safety has dictated that all plugs in Britain conform to a three pin (hence earthed), square (square plug point holes do not bode well for round fingers trying to invade the hole), be moulded (broken plugs are not a hazard anymore) and resist coming out of the socket should the wire be tugged or tripped on. Now, wires that resist plopping out of the socket when tripped on mean they will trip and make trippee fall.
Also, in a case of astonishing oversight, all plug points in this place seem to be no more than 10cm from the floor. Anyone familiar with toddler or kids will know, they tend to be taller than 10cm. My question is, why would anyone place a hazard within reaching distance of a kid and then go about designing the most fool proof and complex mechanism to ensure kids don't get into them? If plug points were placed, say around the 5 foot level like it is back in India, doesn't this automatically solve the problem?
Thank you for allowing the digression, this needed to be said. Just had to get it off my chest.
Back to the story. With all these wires that needed de-wiring, I have no clue where to start. It's almost like the wires have a life of their own and resist any attempt at re-organisation. They've also developed such a deep bond among themselves that it feels almost criminal separating themselves. It's almost as cruel as separating lovers who are in passionate embrace. Only, this is more of an orgy than lovers.
I've been planning this for a while and now that bubba's been here for 3 months, I only have 2 months left to accomplish the task. There is, however, a problem here. You see, I now know why folks asked me to do this before he came. I have no time whatsoever. My life now is an endless rush between office, home, diaper, supermarket, diaper, playing, office and home.
All the 'planning' I've done has had one benefit though - I have thought of all angles. One of which is questioning why this needs to be done at all. Hear me out. The issue with shielding kids from all dangers a parent can think of, is that the child doesn't have the opportunity to learn. When we grew up, there was no health and safety. One learnt that sticking fingers into plug points resulted in an unpleasant sensation, so one didn't do it. The same way, one learnt that some places are not meant to be broken into. How are kids of these days going to learn if we keep removing hazards? Do they not deserve a well rounded, practical approach to parenting? Which is why, I've decided the wires stay.
